Do you have adult kids and are feeling hurt you don’t get to see them? ? Having children finally flee the nest and make their own lives is a joyous experience, or should be. But it can often lead to hurt feelings, abandonment issues and feeling like you have a huge hole in life.

Do you have adult kids that have flown the nest and feeling a little hurt you won’t be seeing them this holiday season?

Many of my clients have older kids, they have been the ‘go to and fixer’ for so many years and are starting to feel less and less needed as their children have flown the nest, start to create new extended families for themsleves and their partners. They have their own children… other responsabilities, time constraints and outlook on life.

Sometimes when our older children take on partners and lives away from us, tensions can arise as we feel ‘left out’, there is now another set of parents and family for sharing your child and even grandchildren with.

Now whilst many of us enjoy to see our children spread their wings and let go of the apron strings, many do not.

This time of year especially, can be hard. Our family routines and traditions change, that can hurt. the other side of the family can be seen to be getting more time with them than us.

There are many factor in these situations, but I’m talking about how a mother or father can feel in these situations with regards to their own children and grandchildren. This has shown up in some way shape or form so many times in client sessions that I wanted to adress it for this holiday season.

We cannot control how others behave, nor how they relate to us.

We can only control how we are with them.

If we want love, we give love

If we want time and attention, we give time and attention.

Let them know you are there for them and that you care and are happy to be with them or have some shared experiences with them no matter how short and sweet.

I am NOT saying accept toxic behaviour and misbehaving big children and their spouses..

I am saying….

Create YOUR space.

Focus on YOUR energy.

Plan and enjoy YOUR activities

Be happy in YOUR life.

Share conversations and updates & send them loving happy vibes about their choices, plans and life happenings.

In a very short time you will see things shift, you will receive unexpected video calls, or visits that weren’t planned. You will have conversations that you haven’t had for a long time.

Often you have been so busy, wrapped up in doing and being for everyone else that now you feel like there is a gap that needs to be filled. I’ve got news for you! YOU are the important part of your life now, it’s time to focus on YOU.

Would you like help with that? I also help people navigating how to cultivate healthy loving relationships with their adult kids and extended families. Just send me a DM and we can have a chat. Jx