‘What if’ is a big one! We avoid doing things, having important conversations, going to places for fear of what ‘could’ be.. Are you constantly worrying about what might happen in the future? It’s time to break free from anxiety and start living in the present and live a peaceful and fulfilling life
The storm they said was coming hasn’t arrived.. We planned, cancelled events, closed shops, battened down the hatches and all that arrived was some heavy rain. It caused some damage and landslides, more dramatically in some places than here, but it still did not reach the levels they had us scared and planning for..
A friend shared a post on facebook last night. My brain has been connecting dots this morning as I journal on the past few days of how I have been feeling so I share my musings here..
“Sometimes the very thing you’re worried about, when it happens it’s actually fine.
Reminds me of a story of a man on an aeroplane, constantly guarding his bags, worried and fretting about losing the valuable things in there. He was so stressed the whole trip. The flight was perfect, the films were great, he even got extra fancy snacks, but he didn’t enjoy any of it. He had to change to another plane, so was sat in the airport and still stressed. As they called his flight, he looked up for a moment to double check he was in the right place. When he got back – HORROR! The bags were gone. He caught a glimpse of the teenager running off with them at the end of the airport, and didn’t know what to do.
Suddenly. He started laughing. He bought a coffee, kicked back and thoroughly enjoyed watching the planes out the window.
“Are you alright sir?”
“Yes! I’ve never been better! I was worried about my bags being stolen the whole time – and now that they’ve been stolen, I’m so relieved. Because I don’t have to worry about them being stolen anymore!”
That story kinda stuck with me ” Amanda Leek Paws to Pounce.
The conversation that you are scared to have because you are not sure you want to hear the responses to your words. You fear rejection or misinterpretation and conflict. The serious heartfelt, honest conversations that make or break situations are of course the scariest but are also the building blocks of a good, solid, honest life.
3 situations.
Same base emotion.
FEAR of the ‘what if’.
In my work recently with Positive Intelligence, I have been studying the way we sabotage ourselves and what drives the talk around that.
I personally discovered that my Judge (who we all have) has 3 very strong (there are 9 in total) helpful helpers who assist in keeping me safe every time the judge decides that something isn’t good, or safe for me. The hyper Rational , the avoider and the pleaser. It’s been interesting noticing how these three intertwined their dialogues to help my judge keep me from doing things that it considers we should air on the, better safe than sorry, story line
I work with clients on their core beliefs first. I’ve found in my work that we can do all kinds of therapy and processes to release and heal stuff that happened to us but I have learnt that if we can get to the grain of the core beliefs first, then the ‘why’ of what we believe comes much easier.
As a result of that, the talk of the judge and it’s helpers becomes more clear as sabotage to ‘keep us safe’ and we can take our power back and reprogramme our patterns of thinking and behaviour, improve our mental fitness and quieten our judge and helpers. Leading us to live a life based in our power, our true essence, as opposed to fear of the ‘what if’
I’ve had enough of what if’s in life, haven’t you?
I’m journaling over fear of rejection today. It’s going to be interesting..
Wanna try?
If I; do/say/choose ‘the thing’ what if it’s rejected.. What will happen to me.. To my life,..
See what comes up write it all down, especially the little voices that nip around the edges
Stay safe in this .. if the situation is one of ‘actual’ potential danger, please be sensible, maybe seek assistance in your brainstorming or decision making process especially if it’s a situation that you really need to change for your own safety.
I have a limited number of places I can offer to my Thrive clients to incorporate the Positive Intelligence app into our work. Are you ready for deep transformation and a mental fitness boost with daily digital support? Reach out and join Ready to Thrive.