October marks so much doesn’t it… seasons changing, leaves changing colours, getting dark earlier, sun coming up later.  

For me, October is my birth month, so marks my next year around the sun.  

I was this week and realised that while this week marks the start of my 49th year round the sun. I’d not made the connection this year, while I’ve been living in my 48th year, that gate 48 in my Human Design chart is my reason for being here…my life’s work.. 

Gate 48 is the gate of resourcefulness. The gate of a wisdom so natural and deep that works logically, and securely to solve problems in the collective. It’s energy is discovering the hidden layers and realms of what it means to be human. Gate 48 understands that you do not become wise through education. You become wise through embodiment. Everything begins and ends with the body. 

Isn’t it curious then how this last year as I’ve been living my 48th year I’ve also been recognising and examining so many of my life’s experiences and how those experiences  have been held and interpreted by my body and mind. Our body feels sensations; it’s our mind that tags what is happening or the interpretation of what it’s feeling.

This past year I have truly avoided courses and qualifications, as quite frankly, I’ve got enough now and have spent more than enough dosh on getting qualified to the hilt.

I have however gone inwards, a lot. More than I have done before I was just led here naturally. I’ve been open to being shown connections and meanings in the signals my body has been giving me, some for almost all my life. The only 2 actual courses I worked through this year were Neuroaffective Touch and Quantum Alignment EFT both of these tapped me even deeper into my physical somatic sense. 

I recently had a session with a client and I said to her, you and your business are different from others because you LIVE what you do, you embody it.. you KNOW deeply what you are teaching to your clients and they can feel that. 

And as I said those words to her the penny really dropped with me. 

I was once on a course.  I’d travelled pretty far and paid hotels etc to go to the course. I was working away on the ‘client’ and the lecturer came and said; “ So, what was your diagnosis process, what are you doing, why are you doing it?? Talk me through it.”  

I panicked.. “What? Errrr, I’m doing what I’m doing as he needs it..” 

“Yeah, but why? What tests did you do to get to that conclusion? What you are doing is right. I just want to know how you got there..”

That’s it!  I was a big fat failure. What was I doing here? I couldn’t even get the diagnosis process down. The lecturer had looked at me like I was nuts when I had answered, “erm, I looked at him and just knew what to do.”

I’d been working with bodies for many years at that point but still let that moment dent my confidence big time,  until a few years later it hit me, like a voice from ‘over there’… That I had been hiding behind the technical, the qualifications, the diagnosis process, because they were explainable, tangible. The concept of; ‘ it is what it is, because I just know it is.’ had got me into a few scrapes when I was younger so of course I had to be sufficiently knowledgeable in everything I was interested in to be able to stand my ground when asked to explain the why. I spent many years thinking one day I would be found out, they would discover that I wasn’t really intelligent or technical and I would seem like a charlatan. So I studied even more as a safety net , at least that was my perception, until discovering Human Design.. 

Going deep and knowing ALL the the stuff is part of who I am. Full stop.

I’ve studied my North and South Nodes that tie in perfectly with where I have been and show me where I am headed now. These demonstrate that  I’m coming from  a deep non judgemental love for humanity and surrendering to my own extreme rhythms and to life, as that  is where I found flow. And I can see what happened when I didn’t maintain my extreme rhythms and was OUT OF FLOW <3 

To Now: To be an example of radical self love. Understanding and honouring my needs, values and desires to be a shining example of self love. 

Wow.. I guess I’d better step up in year 49!!. ❤️

But you know what… My message, in my business and life,  is based in gate 28 – The Darkness Whisperer or Gate of the Game Player. The energy to face the darkness with courage, the energy of simply knowing, not based in logic or experience. Calling people to  embrace the wisdom of fear instead of being consumed by it. Finding deep joy in overcoming obstacles and finding meaning and purpose in all of life. Bringing forth unique individual change and mutation, empowering others to transform. 

So this is my pledge as I slide on over into my 49th year around the sun. 

To lead myself and others to radical, unshakeable self love. To hold space for myself to be in that energy and embrace ALL of life, yes ALL of it. Accepting that ‘I just know’ is a blessed answer to be able to feel into, that I can now fully embrace.

I’m ready to roll up my sleeves and get stuck in to life,  while maintaining my flow and joy. 

If you’d like the same, gimme a shout, but not on Thursday as I’m taking the day off to celebrate <3 You can book for your Human Design Map here…