I was stuck in a draining, abusive relationship, it had been 6 long years of messing with my mind and controlling my life. I had been using all the tools I knew to keep my head above water, often failing miserably, and day to life was just a series of keeping me and my children alive and functioning.
In 2016 I had already managed to leave, again, and I was maintaining some space in our new home, but he was still invading that space on a regular basis, pretty much a constant daily onslaught to fight off, try to ignore and build our lives back up. I sought the help of a healer to ‘help me be stronger’ I guess and after that session with him, I had, what I now call an awakening.
That night, I spent more than 4 hours on my bed shaking, being moved from side to side up and down, I heard drumming, singing, my body shook and it swayed. From the outside maybe it looked as though I had been possessed. I felt the fear in me rising, but I knew deeply that this was needed. That I needed it.
The words “they are fixing me” came out of my mouth.
My body went limp, I was not in control.
I felt as though my body was reliving, going over and releasing ‘things’ that had happened to me in the past. Although I was not consciously thinking of any of those things as my body moved. My nervous system was letting go, getting rid of all of that trauma that it had been holding onto.
I spent days afterwards feeling into what had happened, I had already studied Tremor Release Exercises TRE and had practised it a little, but what had happened that night had been much deeper than just that.
I had felt very much called upon, broken open and healed.
Unfortunately or fortunately my ex had been in my house at the time, he had made some comments during and after which had made me feel physically sick, yet calm in my soul because this experience was letting me see clearly exactly what this relationship was, exactly what he was. .
It took another few years to fully disengage from him, in the end with help from the authorities. But I now realise completely and fully that this night was the start of my awakening.
A year later, I had another similar moment on a day where my body created intense pain to protect me from myself and him, I isolated myself and did some TRE work to try to relieve the pain, it was then that I realised that this was a HUGE part of my work, I was being shown clearly and concisely how we are capable of creating PHYSICAL shields that are designed to protect us on some level, yet if we ignore the roots of that shield we will be in pain and discomfort unnecessarily for a very long time. I have been physically free from that relationship for 5 years now, 4 years with no contact as the children also had to stop seeing him. I can honestly say that there have been moments over these wàst 5 years when the pain has returned but momentarily, just to remind me, to warn me, then I can thank it and continue with my day. Right now I can feel it itching at the surface as I write this.
I worked on this alone. I trusted myself because I didn’t know who else could honestly hold the space for ALL OF THIS. All my life I had been a LOT, too much, who would get this now? I booked a couple of sessions with practitioners, I needed to feel like I wasn’t alone in this. Instead, I felt they were shocked, frightened, slightly weirded out. I didn’t look for any more help with my somatic work. I know what it’s like to feel like there is too much inside of you to explain, there are no words to do justice to what you feel, That’s ok. Because we are sensory beings, Our nervous system is picking up, and storing things that we, consciously, are never even aware of!
This is the space I work in. This is where we set you free. Reach out, there are various ways to work with me at varying levels. Let’s set you free from your own prison <3
Let me help you uncover the profound connection between the mind and body as you embark on a journey of self-discovery and emotional liberation. The path towards greater well-being and personal transformation.